John N says:
I'm not a parent, but I've lived long enough to learn a few things.
Based on the words of your daughter, all the lessons that needed to be learned, have now been learned. Nothing more needs to be said about this, however, a strong, simple (and somewhat expensive) gesture of understanding and forgiveness is required from you: have the iPod fixed, as soon as possible, and present it to her quietly, without ceremony, questions, or conditions.
It may cost you some cash you didn't budget for in the short term, but you will gain much more over the long term. There's nothing more expensive than a damaged relationship, and even more so when it's in your own family.
Stuff happens. This is very minor in the grand scheme of things.
Amber E D says:
I agree. She will learn something important about the value of forgiveness, and of telling the truth. She could have lied about what happened or hid it from you, but she didn't. This will be very important in the years to come. She has very likely felt all the emotions that could come from punishment, and there is not much further to be gained. It won't make you feel much better either, I would guess.
Kamini L says:
I also agree... at least your relationship is strong enough for her to tell you the truth and that my fellow parent is worth all the ipods in the world! ♥
I responded to the lot with this:
I appreciate your thoughtful words John, Amber and Bubs. A key point here is that she has not actually told me about the incident yet. She told her mother, but not me - the apparently fearsome ogre of the family. I haven't exchanged a word with her on the subject.
The money is not really the core of the issue, the cost of the ipod and the potential repair do add to the annoyance and anger level.
I will talk with her soon (probably not this evening, as I have a performance with my choir). Now that I'm reasonably calm about it, I plan to tell her that I do understand it was an accident, but that she needs to understand the amount of work a costly item like that represents. For someone slinging burgers or pumping gas that represents thirty-six hours of pre-tax income. Add in the price of repairs, and that becomes fifty-five hours. Figuring in taxes, we're talking about two weeks of work. I'm not sure how to convey that to her in a meaningful non-hurtful way. Calmly and honestly, I suppose.
I'm glad she told her mom, but disappointed that she hasn't approached me. Maybe I need a list of index cards and bullet points. ;-) Maybe not. I'll try for a quiet talk in on the couch, if I can get her two sisters to keep their noses out of the room for ten minutes.
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